Tuesday, September 2, 2008

How do you do "Girl Time" with convictions and no cash??

Why don't I go out with girlfriends more? Well, I have convictions on certain things and no cash. I cannot in good conscience put my children in public school. Therefore I must home school them as private school is far, far beyond our means. That pretty much rules out days unless you want me to bring my 2 school age children with us as we try on dresses or see a movie. I cannot usually go out at night, because by the time my hard working hubby gets home, he is too tired to have to put the kids to bed.

I work 1 day each week to help buy things like clothes, school books, and dates. My gracious mother watches my children during this time. I cannot afford a babysitter, so if we do get to have a date it is once again up to Mom to watch the kids. She seems to enjoy this vastly, but more than 1 -2 times per week seems just too much for me to ask.

I cannot ask my sister to watch the kids for long, because her kids take a nap right after lunch, and my kids don't anymore and are too noisy. I cannot ask my other sister because she has been attending private school, and is usually way too busy with homework, or super tired. (this may change)

No, I don't have anyone interested in doing a kid exchange during the day. We live too far away. But, of course, we can't afford to move closer.

I have a hard enough time just trying to get to the grocery store...Let alone actual fun girl time. I would much rather hang out with you than go to the grocery store, but let's face it life is about doing the right thing, not always the fun things.

Occasionally I get to leave on a Monday night and play cards with a few friends, but this always depends on how difficult the day has been for my husband, and me. It is hard to go play cards when you feel super depressed or lonely or just plain old tired.

So in short, forgive me if I seem to be unsocial. Really, I would love to go hang out, shop at the mall, see a movie, or go to goodwill, I just have a hard time getting out.

If you have any ideas on solving the dilemma, let me know. :-) 'Cause I really want to go shopping with other grownups... :-D

Holidays ! Could you, would you on a holiday/Saturday?? Maybe for a little bit, but my husband uses these days to get caught up on some of the myriad of projects that swamp our time. Here is the current list:

1. Replace rotting porch step
2. Hang towel rack and paint bathroom door
3. Mike work extra to save up for possible mission trip
4. Meet with people re possible business purchase
5. Repair work on 3 cars
6. Mike work

Well, I could go on, but you get the picture. I did sneak out to the outlet mall for 20 minutes yesterday (Labor Day) while hubby was working on one of the cars, but I had no advance warning this might happen, so I couldn't ask you to come too...

My time is not my own.... :-D


  1. I SOOO am with you on this topic! I have friends who are in similar situations as I am but for some reason, they have no problem being out every evening while their husbands are home putting kids to bed. Am I missing something? How is that okay? And they don't "get it" that I don't do the same... or they say I'm a saint for staying home or being as "dedicated" as I am. Hello??!!! It's called responsibilities. And keeping my husband happy... and stealing 20 minutes whenever I can. =0)

    Sorry for the vent... it came outta nowhere!! And thanks so much for your words of advice you left for me.

  2. Yes, but remember that husbands differ. I have friends with more kids who don't seem to have any trouble getting out, but their husbands seem to have more energy left when they get home, and some guys really have a lot more time/patience left at the end of the day. My Hubby loves our kiddos dearly, but most weekdays he is just BEAT!

    Everyone's situation is so different, it is hard to tell from the outside what's going on. A lot depends on the physical energy left, and the kind of job and hours that they have to work.

    Just as I hope that my friends don't think I'm a snob because I don't hang out much, I think that I would be wise not to assume that they are lax in their duties when they have what seems to be a lot of time off. :-D

  3. Hmmm, I found myself trying to explain this very thing to someone this week. Rather frustrating really... I still don't know if she has any idea what I was trying to say. Oh well.